Self-Discovery Journey 2024

I am the Queen of The Workaround. And I realized today, that's nothing to be proud of.  The Cambridge Dictionary defines workaround as: a way of dealing with a problem or making something work despite the problem, without completely solving it Here is another definition: A workaround is defined as a temporary fix that normally implies that a genuine solution to the problem is needed. Workarounds are bad; it means that people are having to do things outside your solution in order to be effective. What I am realizing as I am asked to come up with workarounds in my personal life and at my new job is that The Workaround is exhausting. You are going here, there, and every f-ing where (like Roy Kent! Any Ted Lasso fans?) when you should really just take the direct approach -- which is to make people be accountable for their own shit. When my daughter was maybe 3 years old, she came across a page in an activity book similar to the one pictured above. Only, in the book we had, there was a...

"You're only as good as the people you take advice from." - Kendra Scott, Born to Shine I am currently reading Kendra Scott's book Born to Shine . It is really an amazing complement to the introspective journey that I am on. The subtitle is "Do Good, Find Your Joy, and Build a Life You Love." Sounds good to me!   As I make my way through the Self-Discovery Journey and I start to consider some moves that would completely change the course of my life, I naturally want some advice. I am reading Scott's book, reading Evelyn Lim's articles, and seeking advice from people I know. But who to go to? I do believe that Scott is correct: you are only as good as the people you take advice from. (Subtext: choose wisely!) I turned to my childhood friend Aimee. She is one of the smartest people I have ever met. Plus, she is beyond real, and she knows me very well. She is a great source for ideas and has an incredible way of helping to simplify complex feelings into...

Today is January 20th. Somehow, I am still journaling. I say that's a win! That said ... at this point, I am craving a little structure to the Self-Discovery Journey. I like that right now I am reading and reflecting. It is a practice I have not done in a long time! But to quote one of my favorite songs from the Broadway musical Dear Evan Hansen : Does anybody have a map?  Does anybody have a map? Anybody maybe happen to know how the hell to do this? I don't know if you can tell But this is me just pretending to know So where's the map? I need a clue 'Cause the scary truth is I'm flying blind And I'm making this up as I go Yup. That's about right! What should I be doing to actually go somewhere? What is the path that I should be on? Is what I'm doing currently the path? Am I making progress? Maybe this is what it looks like at first? I am not really sure!  I found this article by Evelyn Lim that I am thinking can give me some direction: 7 Steps to Self ...

A former administrator at the school where I work passed away recently. She was 86. Her daughter wrote an obituary that was shared with our school community. I did not know this woman, but her obituary got me choked up. What a way to live!  I am adding it as a resource for me to go back to during my SDJ. Because it's a little long, I am going to highlight some of the points that I know I will want to remember:  Phyllis was born under a lucky star in Poughkeepsie, New York on April 7, 1937, and died at home, in the company of loved ones, in Mount Laurel, New Jersey on January 15, 2024. She was 86 years old and packed every nano-second of her 1032 months on earth with love, service, adventure, good food, great books, a strong work ethic, humility, a finely honed sense of humor, and a perpetual smile. In an era when the apex of a woman’s aspirations was to make a good martini and have dinner on the table by 6:00, Phyllis was a powerful, independent, self-made woman. After a child...

I have been using resources on BetterUp.com to help navigate my SDJ. Today, I decided to complete one of the personality tests that indicated strengths and weaknesses. It is part of the BetterUp's "Whole Person Model" which basically says you should have one "me" -- not a "personal me" and a "work me". I can't think about that yet, but the basic concept makes sense!  Here's what the results indicated:  You are high in openness! You are high in agreeableness! Your score indicates a moderate level of emotional stability. Your score indicates a moderate level of extraversion. Your score indicates a low level of conscientiousness. So many thoughts to process! I have to say ... I love how the first two statements are presented with exclamation points! That is right up my alley! My highest score was in openness. That feels pretty good considering what I am trying to accomplish this year. Here is the explanation: As an individual high in op...

Today is January 4th. I am a few days into my SDJ. I am already feeling grateful for the experience because I haven't journaled this much in about 30  years! I decided that I need a theme song for the Journey. It just feels like a good idea. And I found one that I think nails it. I will explain ... it's a roundabout story, but part of the journey.  I have a new car. It's actually an older car - a 2016 Mercedes - but it's new to me. It's a small sedan, so it's good for my new commute. I no longer have SIRIUS radio, which is a real bummer because I absolutely lived for The Message and Holly - two SIRIUS stations. So I love my new car Brigita, but I do miss my tunes.  Brigita does have a CD player, and last summer, my daughter gave me a Dolly Parton CD, which I listened to religiously on my way to and from work all summer. It was the soundtrack of my summer. (It was ironic at the time because my boss was a little like Dabney Coleman in 9-to-5 , so I actually felt l...

Today is Day 1. The beginning. The starting point. I have committed to going on a journey of self-discovery. I have invited my husband to join me. We'll see what happens! This year is a special one for me ... I am going to celebrate a "big birthday"! And because my birthday is on June 30th, my birthday always marks the half-way point of the calendar year. We close out the first 6 months of the year and look ahead to the next 6 months. So, on June 30th of this year, I will turn 50. (Fifty!). That means that I will spend half of this year in my 40's and half of this year in my 50's. I am feeling like the stakes are high. They aren't necessarily, but I can use this milestone birthday as a catalyst for change. My 19-year-old daughter recently shared her new mantra with me: Nothing happens if you do nothing.  (My own personal mantra: "Things change when you change things.") Same idea. Basically. The premise is that unless you do something (the alternative...