Does Anybody Have a Map?

Today is January 20th. Somehow, I am still journaling. I say that's a win!

That said ... at this point, I am craving a little structure to the Self-Discovery Journey. I like that right now I am reading and reflecting. It is a practice I have not done in a long time! But to quote one of my favorite songs from the Broadway musical Dear Evan Hansen: Does anybody have a map? 

Does anybody have a map?
Anybody maybe happen to know how the hell to do this?
I don't know if you can tell
But this is me just pretending to know

So where's the map?
I need a clue
'Cause the scary truth is
I'm flying blind
And I'm making this up as I go

Yup. That's about right! What should I be doing to actually go somewhere? What is the path that I should be on? Is what I'm doing currently the path? Am I making progress? Maybe this is what it looks like at first? I am not really sure! 

I found this article by Evelyn Lim that I am thinking can give me some direction: 7 Steps to Self Discovery. 

Lim says that we need self discovery. 

It is no surprise if anyone claims to not knowing themselves very well. Even if you are already, 30, 40 or 50 years old, it may be that you haven’t spent enough time on self-discovery. It could be that you’ve been very busy over the years. Your mind has just been too preoccupied with things to do. Running on the treadmill of life has its toll.

Oh! That's good!  She writes:

Also, by not being clear about what your core values, beliefs and goals are, you are likely to have allowed your emotions and decisions to be externally dictated. Hence, instead of making an independent decision, you’ve adopted the values, core beliefs and opinions of your friends, colleagues or parents, as your own. Thus, you would have no clue about what your personal boundaries are, even if they have been violated. 

Yes, yes, yes. But how do we get ourselves through this and to the promised self-discovery land? Lim says we need to first work through the blockages. Even just by acknowledging the blockages, I think it helps to get us primed for the actual SDJ steps. 

Here are the blockages:

1. Fear of finding demons
Lim says people are afraid to put their lives under a microscope because we are afraid of what we know is there. 

2. Lack of self love
You cannot delve into what makes you happy if you don't value yourself. I get this one. I also think that this is especially true for people pleasers. We have to re-think our priorities so our wants and needs are important, not everybody else's. 

3. It is best to stifle your creativity and dreams
Lim writes, "As you grow older, you have fewer and fewer dreams. After all, dreams seldom come true, you say. The dreams you once had as a child were left to die."

This point gives me pause because one of my classic mantras is "Dream big!" but honestly, she is not wrong. Should our dreams get smaller so they are more attainable? Hhhm.

4. Too much noise
Here is what she writes:

There is so much noise and stress in your life, that there is hardly any time for self discovery. You lead a busy lifestyle, with important datelines to fulfill and schedules that need to run like clockwork. You simply do not have the time to find answers that may or may not result in paying the bills for you. You would rather continue life as before. If you have been functioning so far, why rock the boat?

In your environment, you may find that what thrives are mindless gossips, unfair comparisons, snide remarks, and thoughtless comments. If your thoughts are filled with these mental defilements, it will be hard to find the space for reflection.  

For me, this is the block that might hit home the most. I am a slow processor. I really am. I need time and space. (Is it because I don't value my own thoughts? Huh. Maybe I will be faster at processing after the SDJ!) And as I look back on my previous journal entries, I see that the common thread so far is that I crave and need time and space to reconnect with myself. I smell a retreat! 

BUT ... what about the map? The steps? The path forward? Lim's steps make sense after you understand the blockages because the first step is to face them. 

Here is the plan ...

Lim's Steps to Self Discovery

Step 1. Face Your Demons
Step 2: Celebrate Yourself
Step 3: Ask Yourself: What is Your Life Purpose?
Step 4: Clarify Your Core Values
Step 5: Find Inspiration from Positive Things Around You
Step 6: Spend Time for Self-Reflection and Meditation
Step 7: Journaling

Thank you, Evelyn Lim! I now have a map.