Self-Discovery Journey 2024

My 16-year-old daughter explained it like this: you don't need to be THE boss. You need to be A boss. In my current state of self-reflection, that's a pretty liberating concept. Here's the backstory ... I am currently in a position at my work that I was not actually hired for. I was hired to be the second-in-command, not the Captain. However, the Captain walked out with little notice right before the school year started, and so now I am the Captain AND the second-in-command. (We never hired for the position I was originally hired for. I am doing both roles simultaneously.) And while I theoretically love a challenge, this one has been (to quote a former boss and mentor) "more than a notion". I don't love being the boss of my department because that role requires a lot of spreadsheets and endless meetings, Board reports, etc. I don't mind building a team, setting the tone, and spearheading initiatives. That part I enjoy. I like people! The job I was original...

I am starting to see the sunshine through the clouds. I can see a plan unfolding. I will go back to Lim's suggested process to get me back to moving things forward: Lim's Steps to Self Discovery Step 1. Face Your Demons Step 2: Celebrate Yourself Step 3: Ask Yourself: What is Your Life Purpose? Step 4: Clarify Your Core Values Step 5: Find Inspiration from Positive Things Around You Step 6: Spend Time for Self-Reflection and Meditation Step 7: Journaling I think the real learning is that I can do more than one step at a time. This is not necessarily a "Do this" THEN "Do this." I think to make the SDJ successful, I need to do a bunch of these steps simultaneously. And as much as facing my demons has been therapeutic (especially with the help of Step 7: Journaling), I need to move this along! So as I journal (#7) and find time for self-reflection and meditation (#6) -- did I mention I am not getting up at 4:15 am to facilitate the SDJ? -- I also want to start ...

My SDJ is stuck because my job is getting out of control. My work/life balance has no balance, and I am feeling off. It's a terrible feeling, and one that is tough to correct in the current state of affairs at my job. I can see that I have gone a while with no journal entries. That's because my work took me hostage.  So allow me to take a detour from the SDJ (or maybe this is the point of the SDJ?) and reflect on my work situation.  There are a lot of sayings out there that remind us that work is a job: "Work is a 4-letter word."  "It's called work for a reason." I am always reminded that work feels so important when we are in the thick of it. And then we take a week's vacation (if we are lucky), and we have distance and perspective, and we are reminded that it's just a job.  The idea that work is an inflated part of our lives occurred to me at my husband's grandmother's funeral two years ago. Nannie was in her 90s when she passed, and sh...

I am the Queen of The Workaround. And I realized today, that's nothing to be proud of.  The Cambridge Dictionary defines workaround as: a way of dealing with a problem or making something work despite the problem, without completely solving it Here is another definition: A workaround is defined as a temporary fix that normally implies that a genuine solution to the problem is needed. Workarounds are bad; it means that people are having to do things outside your solution in order to be effective. What I am realizing as I am asked to come up with workarounds in my personal life and at my new job is that The Workaround is exhausting. You are going here, there, and every f-ing where (like Roy Kent! Any Ted Lasso fans?) when you should really just take the direct approach -- which is to make people be accountable for their own shit. When my daughter was maybe 3 years old, she came across a page in an activity book similar to the one pictured above. Only, in the book we had, there was a...

"You're only as good as the people you take advice from." - Kendra Scott, Born to Shine I am currently reading Kendra Scott's book Born to Shine . It is really an amazing complement to the introspective journey that I am on. The subtitle is "Do Good, Find Your Joy, and Build a Life You Love." Sounds good to me!   As I make my way through the Self-Discovery Journey and I start to consider some moves that would completely change the course of my life, I naturally want some advice. I am reading Scott's book, reading Evelyn Lim's articles, and seeking advice from people I know. But who to go to? I do believe that Scott is correct: you are only as good as the people you take advice from. (Subtext: choose wisely!) I turned to my childhood friend Aimee. She is one of the smartest people I have ever met. Plus, she is beyond real, and she knows me very well. She is a great source for ideas and has an incredible way of helping to simplify complex feelings into...

Today is January 20th. Somehow, I am still journaling. I say that's a win! That said ... at this point, I am craving a little structure to the Self-Discovery Journey. I like that right now I am reading and reflecting. It is a practice I have not done in a long time! But to quote one of my favorite songs from the Broadway musical Dear Evan Hansen : Does anybody have a map?  Does anybody have a map? Anybody maybe happen to know how the hell to do this? I don't know if you can tell But this is me just pretending to know So where's the map? I need a clue 'Cause the scary truth is I'm flying blind And I'm making this up as I go Yup. That's about right! What should I be doing to actually go somewhere? What is the path that I should be on? Is what I'm doing currently the path? Am I making progress? Maybe this is what it looks like at first? I am not really sure!  I found this article by Evelyn Lim that I am thinking can give me some direction: 7 Steps to Self ...